Unfortunately I have to start this blog with the word Unfortunately...but unfortunately Erin's evaluation was not the stellar report we had been hoping for. She is 20 months and her overall average was @ an 8 month level. She has made some progress but not the kind of progress I thought she would've made. The OTs were here for about 2 hours and at the end when they read me the eval results I had to dig deep as to not burst into tears in front of them. I think they could tell so they were trying to be encouraging but I knew. They wished they had better news to give me.
I forgot how difficult "eval days" are. You have nothing but high hopes as the testing starts eager to celebrate in her triumphs but soon realize as they work through the steps that she isn't cooperating. You continue to be positive and say to yourself "she missed that one, but she'll get the next one" The disappointment grows. The tests is over. I try to laugh it off and be social but you can't help face the fact that something is definitely wrong. We have no diagnosis so I can't even grasp onto something to strive toward to help fix. Because we have no diagnosis no funding is available for therapy or other resources. We sit and discuss all the results of the test and I ask my miriad of questions to see if I can get ANY information about what hey think is going on but it's too hard to determine. After my Q&A we easily determine she qualifies for E.I. services.
Next evaluation will be her 2.5 years where we will start to discuss a transition into the school system if that's what we decide. Until then we have a long road and hopefully ALOT of progress to be made.
I hold my 4 month old in my arms as I say good-bye and feel the tears rising as I shut the door behind them. I cannot help wonder maybe I didn't work with her enough. What could we have done more of to help her along. I have a good cry and I'm over it. This only resparks my desire to work harder with her and see what we can learn together.
Thank you for ALL the love, support and prayers for my daughter. Your support means so much to us. Love Kellee & Erin
I can do all things through Christ that strengthens me. Philippians 4:13